Let me tell you something about soy...people who avoid it can be very opinionated about it. Bordering on defensive...now I'm not saying this in a mean way. I just want to communicate how very passionate each of us can be when we really believe in something. I don't think this is a bad thing!
I know people who have an allergy to soy or who are just sensitive to it and choose to avoid it as much as they can. I know women who really believe it interacts unfavorably with their natural hormone balance. I know a lot of moms who make evey effort to keep soy out of their children's diets because they fear the phytoestrogens in soy will trigger early puberty and/or cause breast development in boys.
I have never liked cow's milk, so well before we became plant-based eaters, I used soy milk. During my last pregnancy, I heard rumors that soy was the devil, so I switched to almond milk, which I found delicious. However, I missed the more filling soy milk as it has a lot more protein per serving than almond milk. I also found soy milk to have a more neutral taste...I love almond milk but I don't always want everything to taste like almonds.
It has been a struggle for me to decide what to do about the whole soy issue. I've done a lot of research and if you want to read up on the benefits and dangers of soy try reading this article.
Here's my take: For me, personally, and my family, I feel like soy is a safe enough choice. I have never felt like it interfered with my hormones in a bad way...in fact, I have found the opposite to be true. Maybe because I'm older? I know my violent hot flashes are reduced when I am taking in soy on a regular basis and my husband has yet to develop lactation equipment. My ten year-old daughter is showing the normal signs of puberty for her age and is not sporting cleavage just yet.
Like anything else, this is personal. If you aren't comfortable with something or feel it affects you in bad way or it doesn't sit well to give it to your family, then skip it.
My belief has evolved into the "moderation" model. I don't necessarily think it would be wise to drink ten glasses of soy milk a day, but a little on my cereal or in a smoothie? I'm ok with that and I'm ok with giving it to my family in moderation as well.
I will say this--like it or not, we were meant to be plant-based eaters (read the Book of Genesis...) from the time man was created. Human beings were never meant to consume animal milk and we have never needed the extra fat and calories from animal milk past the age of two or three. I think the dangers of drinking cow's milk outweigh the dangers of soy milk. If you'd like to have more information on why cow's milk is not only not necessary but bad for us, read this. There are unfortunately some very disturbing things that happen to cows on factory dairy farms. If you simply cannot give up cows milk, then seriously consider buying raw, organic milk from grassfed cows living on a small private farm. And visit the farm. If a dairy farmer has nothing to hide and is properly caring for his animals, he or she should welcome inquiries and visits. I do know how expensive it is but poor health is even more costly. As a Christian, I know God gave us dominion over animals but dominion does NOT include cruelty and torture or the indiscriminate use of animals to make us wealthy.
I encourage each and everyone of you to do your own research and make your own choices. I will never judge. How can I? While I detest cow's milk, I love cheese and I have it occasionally. Hey, nobody's perfect, except for Jesus!